If you’re like most people, you were inquisitive as a child. You were trying to learn about the world around you and asked lots of questions. In fact, one study found that youngsters do this as much as 300 times a day.
But as you grew older, things probably changed. In school, you were expected to tell, not ask. You might have seen that students who provided answers were praised and rewarded. Those who asked too many questions, meanwhile, were often met with frustration or resistance. Schools encourage rote learning, not the Socratic method.
Such attitudes and incentives invariably influence behavior. They lead to a focus on rewards, rather than results. And as with playing an instrument or engaging in sports, a lack of question-asking practice can make you rusty, impairing critical cognitive skills. Eagerness to get to the heart of the matter diminishes over time.
In many cases, this self-reinforcing pattern extends into adulthood, distorting your worldview. You may come to believe that everyone wants to hear what’s on your mind, or that you have all the answers. In relationships, at work, or in everyday life, it might be easy to start thinking that questions get in the way of genuine communication.
